Chapter 24: Crumble

If It Doesn't Kill Us It Makes Us Stronger

Chapter 24: Crumble

The very first time I introduced Rosella to Lory, I was incredibly nervous. They are the two most important women in my life. I wouldn't be able to move forward with Rosella if they didn't get along. Luckily, after a few minutes of awkward silence, they were getting along. I could tell they were both happy, and I was too.

Maybe it was wrong of me to bring Rosella the way I did. We had been engaged for quite a while and I wanted both Lory and Rayven to have the chance to meet my future wife since they would be interacting with her quite frequently from now on. Rayven saw it as me trying to replace her or confuse Lory. "You brought in some random woman for our daughter to meet when you know I should be the only woman in her life. We're her parents. Not anyone else. Don't try and replace me as the main female in her life."

Maybe I was looking for an argument that day. Rayven had been getting on my nerves the last few times I visited. "I understand how difficult it must be to rearrange your schedule to accommodate a visitor, but I'm not just any visitor, I'm Lory's father. I would never introduce Lory to just any girl I was seeing. Rosella is more than a girlfriend, she's my fiancee."  

I added in one more line just to tick her off, "Besides, maybe she does need another female role model. You've had that same silly pink & blue hair for six years. We're adults and you still walk around looking like cotton candy."  Before Rayven could respond, I kissed Lory goodbye and left with Rosella. Rayven would have to come around eventually.

I was incredibly happy to have rekindled a friendship with Robyn, she was still a phenomenal listener. We chose a bar in Oasis Springs to meet up at weekly in order to just talk to each other about what's going on in our lives.  I told her about Rayven and she was able to calm me down. After a few drinks, no conversation topics were never off limits. Everything from how I feel like a burden to Rosella since I still haven't found work, to trying to co-parent with Rayven, to even how I wish Rosella was just a tad different. I told Robyn about how Rosella lost a bit of fire she had back in university. "I dunno, Robyn. Passion is what I look for most in a girl. In fact, I think it's part of the reason I was so drawn to you in high school". Before I had the time to process what I had said, the words were already out of my mouth. We both sat in silence for a few minutes, the air felt thick. 

"Forget what I said, I adore Rosella. There isn't a single thing I'd want to change about her. She's intelligent, outgoing, funny, playful, and my best friend." As of lately, that last detail was a lie. I felt much more comfortable sharing my thoughts, feelings, and emotions with Robyn recently. She just had this way of putting me at ease and making me feel as if all of my problems could be solved. I understand that part of the reason Rosella can't really do this is because of the fact she's working now though. "Rosella and I actually got into an argument the other day. She took a job with this company doing work that doesn't excite her. The Rosella I initially met would have never done that." Hearing it out loud, I realized how foolish I had been. Of course Rosella took the job, we need money more than she wants an exciting job. "Maybe I'm just a self-sabotager. I sense that everything is going too well, so I mess it all up." Robyn merely placed a hand on my back and patted it. She wanted to comfort me in that moment.

Eventually, our once a week meetups weren't enough. We wanted to talk even more, especially me. Sometimes we'd meet up at parks, cafes, or even our houses, wherever closest, just to see each other. 

When I hugged Robyn goodbye for the day, I couldn't help but wonder. What if it was her & I that purchased a home together? We probably would've argued over color-scheme. We'd kiss each other goodbye before work. We'd watch tv while on the couch eating potato chips. We'd make the mundane extraordinary. I quickly shook my head, hoping to rid myself of these thoughts. I'm with Rosella. I love Rosella. I am so happy to be with her. She puts up with my crap, she shows me nothing but love, and she encourages me to be the best possible version of myself.

But, should I be with someone that I need encouragement from to be my best? Shouldn't I already be my best with them?

After a late night of drinking at the bar, I stumbled home late. Rosella was sitting on the couch, just waiting for me. I could sense her anger. I stifled a snicker because of how it seems our roles have reversed since university. "What's so funny? I wanna laugh too. All I can focus on is how I have work in three hours. I'm just surprised that you think it was okay to be out until 5 in the morning." I'm tempted to roll my eyes, but I stop myself. She is right. "It was just Robyn, y'know, my old friend from high-school." Rosella had this look of annoyance on her face that caused me to stop talking.  "I'm not stupid, Logan. *sigh* I know that you wouldn't cheat on me, you aren't that kind of guy, but I feel like your 'friendship' with Robyn has crossed a line.  I deserve all of you and I refuse to settle for anything less. What does she really give you that I don't?"
I stood there, my mouth ajar. I kept looking for words but none came to me. 

Robyn was shocked when she heard about our argument. She offered to talk to Rosella and tell her about how we were strictly friends, but I wasn't going to force her to do that, besides, I doubted it would make much of a difference. I know that everything happens for a reason. Robyn tapped on my shoulder at that store for a reason. We were talking again for a reason. It was deeper than mere coincidence. As I readied to tell her of this newfound revelation, she had something to tell me.

"I know you guys haven't really talked in a while, but because he still considers you a lifelong friend, I had to share the good news. Isaac and I have started seeing each other again!"