Chapter 16: Isaac's Story

If It Doesn't Kill Us It Makes Us Stronger

Chapter 16: Isaac's Story

My parents and I are from Nigeria. We moved when I was around seven years old. On my seventh birthday, I came home expecting a present. Instead, my father told me that we were moving to a place called the Simerica. I was terrified, I was leaving everything that I knew. Our house was small and humble, but it suited our family of three quite nicely. I soon got better at speaking Simlish, but it was difficult at first. 

My mother would often push me to perform better, even when I thought I was already doing my best. In middle school, it was discovered that I had dyslexia and would need to attend a lot of tutoring, which is how I ended up meeting Logan. This made reading and math incredibly difficult for me. My parents didn't quite understand what dyslexia meant and were angry. They thought it was an excuse for laziness. My mother would tell me, "Son, sloth is a sin. Be the smart boy that I know you are!"

It always felt like I was being yelled at.

They both traveled such a great distance in order to afford us better opportunities. Nigeria was all they had known as well, our entire family was there. But, they made the decision to come here and become successful. They were great doctors back home and shortly created a reputation for themselves here. I'm still unsure of whether I respected them or feared them.

I spent most of my time alone in my room. I was either studying or contemplating.  I was determined to not let my parents down. Every move I made seemed to upset them. For the longest time, I was disgusted with myself for failing. Later I realized that I was really discussed with reality. I just wanted to be perfect so badly, but the universe just wouldn't allow it.  

My mother was furious when she found out that I was dating Robyn. She didn't like the fact that I was dating at all, she feared it was taking time away from my studies. She was also upset that Robyn wasn't Nigerian, she claimed that the bloodline would no longer remain pure.

At the time, I thought that I loved Robyn. My heart was absolutely broken when I heard the disgust in my mother's voice. I just wished I was a better son to her. Looking back, I also wish I was a better boyfriend to Robyn.

Nothing can excuse my behavior that night. I just had so much rage bottled up inside of me and I unfairly released it on her. I just really thought she loved me. And I thought everything was perfect. So when she didn't wanna sleep with me, it felt as if our almost perfection was crumbling right before my eyes. Robyn was the first person I truly loved and the first time I felt loved. Even though I know that on some level my parents love me, it feels more like they deal with me. Robyn didn't deal with me, she genuinely cared for me. Although things didn't work out, she will always have a place in my heart.

When I initially asked my parents about if  Logan could stay with us, they burst into laughter. After a few more moments of talking, they realized I was serious. It took hours of persuasion before they were on board. If Logan wasn't my best friend, I would've never endured that type of mental torment.

The first eighteen years of my life feel like just one large apology.

My mother was a very practical woman, she always wanted me to do the right thing so that I would be successful in life. I don't hold any resentment towards her, but it was nice to leave the house and go away to school. I finally felt relieved.

The first person I noticed at Willow Creek University was Rosella. Not only was she attractive, but she was just so...animated. She was a very open person as well. She just sat beside me and started talking to me about this bar fight she had gotten into. I couldn't help but watch and laugh, she was incredibly entertaining. 

But she would never receive approval from my parents. I know it's silly since I'm an adult now, but I'm still terrified of letting them down.