Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Chapter 29: Enough

If It Doesn't Kill Us It Makes Us Stronger

Chapter 29: Enough



Waking up after being intimate with Moa really lit a fire beneath my butt. I couldn't continue living this way. I couldn't continue to escape difficult situations by getting caught up in a moment. The last time I was caught up in a moment, I lost a six-year relationship. I'm twenty-six right now. I'm at a much different place in life than I was when I was nineteen. What I did was irresponsible.


I need to be with my kid right now. I need to be there for her. I know that she doesn't resent me. She's fine with exchanging calls and texts since I'm not there every day, but that's not enough. I have to finally step up to the plate and help raise my daughter.


The moment I had this realization, I rushed over to their place. I started off by talking to Rayven. "I am so so sorry for not being there the way I should have.  Even though we are both Lory's parents, you're the only one that's been behaving like one." 


"When I became pregnant with Lory, it was as if I was all alone. You finished high-school and went off to college. I was homeschooled as soon as I started to show and I've been taking online classes so that I'm able to stay home with our daughter. I'm sure being a father hasn't been easy for you, but this surely has not been easy for me. I used to hate you, but I don't anymore. We were both kids having a kid. I'm just glad you're here now." 
I cancelled my lease for my condo and moved in with Rayven and Lory. I found an invitation to Isaac and Robyn's wedding a few months later. Initially, the wedding was meant to take place that summer, however, the date kept getting moved back. Isaac would call and tell me that the timing just never felt quite right. At one point, Robyn was pregnant so they had to decide what to do about that. (They ended up giving the baby up for adoption). At one point Isaac was waiting on a raise. The wedding didn't actually happen until three years after he proposed.


The first person I noticed when I got there was Rosella. She didn't look any less stunning than before. She was even more beautiful now, if that was possible.


"Logan! How've you been?" We caught each other up on our lives. Apparently, Rosella was doing extremely well. She was working in the graphic design division of apps. Her company was responsible for the hit new app, 'SnapThat'. I was honestly in awe of her success.


"I'm assuming things didn't work out with Robyn?" I just held my head low and sighed. "I still feel awful about what happened."  She just wrapped an arm around me and said, "Don't hold onto that guilt Logan. I was bitter in the moment, but I'm not anymore. That was six years ago. It's clear to me that we've both grown. I guess we just weren't meant to be. And that's okay."

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